Dear Emperor,
Forgive me for raising this matter, but Lucius Ventus, head of the Governor’s Credit Control Department, reliably informs me that the invoice that we sent you for three crucfixions remains unpaid to date. I realise that you must be busy, but we have carpenters and all manner of tradesmen to pay as well as a substantial overtime bill from the Legion for crowd control. If it continues to remain unpaid, I must warn you that you will also incur substantial interest penalties. It should be stressed that we do accept all manner of credit cards including Athens Express, Denarii Club Internatonal and Magistercard. We look forward to the most swift settlement of your account by return of Trireme. Yours cordially, Governor Pilate.
